Trust Buster!

I feel like I should write some succinct summary of the holidays, my plans for 2010 or some kind of year-end review of the books I've read or the movies I saw.

But I really don't feel like that. I feel like writing about Theodore Roosevelt ... THE BEST PRESIDENT EVERRRRR.

 THE HERO OF SAN JUAN HILL!

I was never really into U.S. history. I can't recant the details of all the wars or list the presidents in order. But Theodore Roosevelt is just so incredible that I can't even deal with it.

SERIOUSLY...

• He had a mustache and looked like a friendly walrus.
• Reading and writing were among his favorite hobbies.
  
• He didn't like being called Teddy, which is rad, because Teddy is a stupid name.
• But on that note, the whole thing about not shooting the bear ... you know the story ... he considered it "unsportsmanlike" because the bear was already tied up. So yeah, he was morally awesome. But he still liked shooting animals, which is badass.
• He was all sickly as a child, but exercised vigorously and built up his stamina until he was healthy. So basically he just kicked weakness's ass.
• He went on African safaris and expeditions to South America. Like I said ... badass.
  
• He was a Rough Rider! And he was awarded the Medal of Honor for leading the charge at San Juan Hill in Cuba.
  
• He started the U.S. National Parks Service, which is apparently "America's best idea." More like T.R.'S BEST IDEA, AMIRITE?!
• Oh yeah, he had all these sweet nicknames: T.R., Trust Buster, the Bull Moose and tons of others.
• You know Maxwell House's slogan, "good to the last drop"? HE COINED THAT. Holy shit.
• He had a menagerie of pets, including exotic mammals like hyenas.
• He was the first president to be given the Nobel Peace Prize. He got the award for mediating the Russo-Japanese War. He also apparently said that his biggest regret was that he was not president during wartime. So, war = bad, but also good. Adventure! Contradictions!
  
• His favorite foods were fried chicken, roast beef, grits and meat from the animals he killed. Some historians believe he drank nearly a gallon of coffee each day. Fabulous.
  
• In Milwaukee, he was about to give a speech and someone SHOT HIM IN THE CHEST at close range. He was all "IT TAKES MORE THAN THAT TO KILL A BULL MOOSE!" and gave his speech anyway. He didn't even go to the hospital until over an hour later. BADASS.
• Oh, and when he ran on a third-party (the Bull Moose Party) ticket, he garnered a larger portion of the popular vote than any other third-party presidential candidate in U.S. history.
• He said all kinds of wise and iconic things, like "speak softly and carry a big stick" and "do what you can, with what you have, where you are."
  

My favorite maker of comics, the talented and hilarious Kate Beaton, has depicted good ol' T.R. once or twice. She pretty much sums up everything that's incredible about him.

Man oh man. I love you, T.R. Happy New Year.