13 Things That Are Happening, Volume II

1) The addition of minced garlic to a Bloody Mary.
2) Rocky Horror Bingomania in New Haven this weekend.
3) Mo's Dark Chocolate Bacon Bar from Vosges. I wanted it to happen and it happened. Bomb. Also,
4) Stumbling upon the Vosges store in SoHo. I practically started hyperventilating. Speaking of stumbling upon things in SoHo,
5) The Evolution Store. Someone buy me a damn skeleton. Last thing I stumbled upon in SoHo:
6) The Guy with a Cat on His Head.
7) Relearning how to dress for cold weather. Yes, it's awful, but it's also kind of magical. This leads to...
8) Receiving a box of all my coats, scarves, hats and mittens in the mail. Warm fuzzies, literally and figuratively.
9) Doppio espresso con panna.
10) Not feeling helpless finding my way around New York. Well ... slowly but surely.
11) Ed Westwick as Heathcliff in a film adaption of "Wuthering Heights"? Oh please let this be happening. Please.
12) Getting a blast of air from the subway grate and feeling like Marilyn Monroe.
13) Finally getting calls and interviews. Finally feeling like things might happen, might work out, might be better than ever. Finally finally finally.

Status Update

Not being employed really puts one's budget into perspective. Money is spent sparingly and on things like food (because one needs food to live) and alcohol (because one needs it for warmth and also the crushing pain that accumulates when one feels like one does not have a purpose). Things like new clothes and music and cable television are lusted after. But perhaps nothing is lusted after quite as much as the iPhone.

Oh, iPhone. Light of my life, fire of my loins, et cetera. How I long for you and your 3G network, especially since Time Warner is apparently too inept to install high-speed Internet service in my apartment. How I long for your many fabulous apps, which would allow me to finally master the subway system, check my e-mail and bank account balances, look up establishments with free wifi that might be nearby, and play games while I am in line for amusement park rides (which is actually what I am doing in the above photo). How I desire your sleek thin form; your simple touchscreen platform. How I adore you, sweet iPhone. But alas! Alack! I am completely and utterly sans monies, which means that I, a college graduate with a few solid years of work experience, remain on my parents' phone plan. This means that I possess the same basic flip phone that I have had for nearly three years — a banged-up, ancient-looking pink model. Its greatest achievements include taking warped-looking pictures with its two-megapixel camera and sending said pictures to confused recipients. Oh, how I do loathe you, shitty Sprint Sanyo phone circa 2006. I hate you with every fiber of my Apple-adoring, technology-literate being. But you must do for now. Meanwhile, when the person I live with abandons his iPhone, I shall snatch it up and quickly update my Facebook status. When it chimes melodically, indicating a new text message, I will dutifully hand the iPhone over, and another tiny piece of me will die.

Cheap and Free in NYC

Last week, I was determined to get out of the apartment and actually DO something. It had to be free, of course, and not too tourist-y. Here's what went down.

A taping of "Maury" in Stamford, Connecticut.

I must admit that it's quite a rush to hear Mr. Povich exclaim, after a dramatic pause, "You ARE the father!" IRL.

Total cost: $0 (Not really ... I had to take the Metro North from Grand Central to Stamford, and I did buy myself dinner and a cocktail after the show, but the tickets were quite free. The value? Priceless.)

A Michael Chabon lecture at Columbia University.

This one was a complete surprise. I was hustled onto the subway with no knowledge of my final destination, but I was beyond ecstatic to see Mr. Chabon speak. I waited around for a bit afterward to meet him, shake his hand and anxiously admit my adoration of his work. I was shaking and stammering and not even speaking in complete sentences, but he was quite kind. He produced an autograph for me, complete with a golden key. I was honored and humbled.

Total cost: $0 (Not counting, of course, the subway fare.)

A tour of the Brooklyn Brewery.

BREWERY TOUR! BREWERY TOUR! BROOREETOORRRR! The Brooklyn Brewery is located about 20 blocks north of my little Williamsburg apartment, so this turned out to be a convenient and delightful afternoon activity.

Total cost: $0 (Until I bought a beer. I had to! I was at the brewery!)

Flustered by my choices, I ordered the Blast, simply because it suddenly invoked the image of a superhero stopping for a beer after fighting some villains. (I am aware of how ridiculous that is, yes, thank you.) It was delicious. What I failed to notice is that the Brooklyn Blast had the highest alcohol content out of all the draft choices — 8.5 percent. I found myself rather giggly after just 12 ounces and stopped for McDonald's french fries on the way home.

13 Things That Are Happening, Volume I

In an attempt not to retreat into the depths of despair, please allow me to make a feel-good type of list...

1) Brooklyn Lager.
2) The boxing workout on Wii Fit. Wow.
3) "While We Wait for the Others," Grizzly Bear featuring Michael fucking McDonald. Seriously, this track is a life-changer.
4) Sleeping late.
5) Silent movies on the CUNY channel.
6) Jasmine rice.
7) A PERFECT ROUND OF BIG BUCK HUNTER PRO. Elk adventure. Believe it.
8) YouTube videos of people popping giant zits.
9) Reading issues of The New Yorker cover to cover.
10) Anticipating Jim and Pam's "Office" wedding and the return of "30 Rock." This is bigger than just you and me, people.
11) Revamping the ol' Web site.
12) Tickets to "Maury" in two days. Good god.
13) "Ruler," Marnie Stern, from her crazy album "This Is It and I Am It and You Are It and So Is That and He Is It and She Is It and It is It and That is That."