Status Update

Not being employed really puts one's budget into perspective. Money is spent sparingly and on things like food (because one needs food to live) and alcohol (because one needs it for warmth and also the crushing pain that accumulates when one feels like one does not have a purpose). Things like new clothes and music and cable television are lusted after. But perhaps nothing is lusted after quite as much as the iPhone.

Oh, iPhone. Light of my life, fire of my loins, et cetera. How I long for you and your 3G network, especially since Time Warner is apparently too inept to install high-speed Internet service in my apartment. How I long for your many fabulous apps, which would allow me to finally master the subway system, check my e-mail and bank account balances, look up establishments with free wifi that might be nearby, and play games while I am in line for amusement park rides (which is actually what I am doing in the above photo). How I desire your sleek thin form; your simple touchscreen platform. How I adore you, sweet iPhone. But alas! Alack! I am completely and utterly sans monies, which means that I, a college graduate with a few solid years of work experience, remain on my parents' phone plan. This means that I possess the same basic flip phone that I have had for nearly three years — a banged-up, ancient-looking pink model. Its greatest achievements include taking warped-looking pictures with its two-megapixel camera and sending said pictures to confused recipients. Oh, how I do loathe you, shitty Sprint Sanyo phone circa 2006. I hate you with every fiber of my Apple-adoring, technology-literate being. But you must do for now. Meanwhile, when the person I live with abandons his iPhone, I shall snatch it up and quickly update my Facebook status. When it chimes melodically, indicating a new text message, I will dutifully hand the iPhone over, and another tiny piece of me will die.